Description

In our last few episodes, we have been considering our present stage of life and reflecting on some of the baggage we may have accumulated throughout a lifetime of living and serving. We reflected on if we had become disillusioned with life or if we had become apathetic, believing that our best years were behind us. Now, as we conclude these first three introductory episodes, we will discuss three steps we can take in order to move forward in our lives. With every passing day, as we see the runway ahead getting shorter and shorter ahead of us, what steps can we take in order to realign our perspective so that we can hope for the future?

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Video Script

Episode 3: Re-Digging Wells, Re-Examining Values

In our last few episodes, we have been considering our present stage of life and reflecting on some of the baggage we may have accumulated throughout a lifetime of living and serving. We reflected on if we had become disillusioned with life or if we had become apathetic, believing that our best years were behind us. Now, as we conclude these first three introductory episodes, I want to discuss three steps we can take in order to move forward in our lives. With every passing day, as we see the runway ahead getting shorter and shorter ahead of us, what steps can we take in order to realign our perspective so that we can hope for the future?

Being Proactive is a Choice

Welcome back, if you are following along in the workbook, we are now on pages 7-10, as we finish off the first section of the “Finishing the Race” Guide.

As with every stage of life, being proactive is the key to success. One thing I have observed is that most of us tend to live each stage of life based on principles we have learned that have worked previously in our life. Often, it is not until we are well into the new stage of life do we recognize the need to make changes. But the reality is that the principles and strategies that worked in our thirties, for example, are not the same ones that will work in our forties or in fifties, and so on.

Yet we kind of get locked into a certain way of thinking or doing things, don’t we? We tend to keep functioning in the same way, particularly if they have been successful in the past. As Einstein said, We can’t do the same things and expect different results. So as we age we need to learn to adjust our approach if we are going to finish our race successfully. I would suggest that instead of waiting until we are well into the next stage of life before making changes, it is much more effective to be proactive to make changes ahead of time. Changing our actions, maybe even some of our values, as we anticipate the next stage of life around the corner.

In Matt. 9:16-17, Jesus teaches this principle by using the illustration of wineskins and patches on old clothes. As with the process of aging wine and wineskins, we have to remain flexible in order to accommodate the new wine. In other words, we have to continue being flexible in how we do things as we age. It is the same principle illustrated with putting a shrunken patch on unshrunken new clothing. They both need to be in sync.

The Sigmoid Curve

Another way of describing this is using the “Sigmoid Curve.” This diagram illustrates those inflection points in life we all go through. The basic principle is that the attitudes and activities that have made us “successful,” are not necessarily going to be the same ones that will keep us there. The tried and proven ways in which we have functioned in the past, will likely not be same ones that will help us successfully navigate the future.

Throughout every stage of life, we eventually come to a point of stagnation. If intentional steps are not made at these inflection points in our ministry, our marriage, or personal and relational life, we will begin to decline and not reach our potential. Continuing to just do the same things, usually at some point no longer work. The challenge is to be proactive and not wait until we are on the downward portion of the curve before taking steps for ongoing growth. Being proactive before we plateau will actually result in the beginning of a new upward curve.

The danger is to resist change at this latter stage of our life and career. Let’s face it, it gets harder to change the older we get, right?! The pitfall is to rely only on our past wisdom and experience, which by this stage we have more of than another other time in our life. But if we do this, we will stop learning and growing and decline in our lives. I remember showing my father how to use a cell phone, not a big deal, but he was in his nineties! It’s amazing, he remained curious about life until he passed away at 102. Okay, full disclosure, I did get a few pocket dials at 2 and 3 in the morning, but for the most part he learned a new skill, even at that age. As I now age, I realize how hard it is to continue to be a learner and curious about life as we get older. I am becoming even more impressed by his example.

Change in Tough

I think we can always be learning something. The life lesson for me is that the time to begin the next phase of what God’s wants to do in my  life is when I still have remaining resources and energy from the previous stage. The longer we wait the harder it becomes. We get set in our ways, relying on our past. The irony of taking steps before we notice the decline  is that this means making a change when things may be going well. I have taught this principle to churches and organizations and have observed that it is as counterintuitive for us as individuals as it is for organizations.

Those who have had the most success in life will find this very difficult. Our tendency is to try to ride the top of the curve as long as possible – too long. We then get “stuck” and if we continue doing the same things for too long we will plateau in our lives. Decline at that point is inevitable. If we wait too long to make a change, at some point we will lack the resources, energy and time to begin a new curve in our lives.

In the ancient prophetic writings, God encourages us to, “Forget the former things;  do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isa. 43:18-19) That is the kind of God we serve, always changing, always doing something fresh and new. And since we are made in his image, it kind of makes sense that we would have some of this same DNA in us doesn’t it? The really good news is that he has  promised that he will give us enough strength to equal however many days that he gives us on this earth (Deut. 33:25).

At this point, let’s pause and consider:

Have you taken steps in your life in order to not be content with past successes? How do you continually challenge yourself and your approach to life?

What strategies do you have that help you maintain personal and professional growth?

 

Re-digging Old Wells

In the first book of the Torah, we read of the patriarch, Isaac, reopening wells that had been dug years earlier by his father Abraham. Their enemies, the Philistines, had filled them in after Abraham had died and they had become useless. (Gen. 26:18) There can be many reasons that the wells of our lives become plugged, ranging from activities of our enemies’ to our own neglect. But how do we redig these ancient wells in our lives?

When we are young, it seems we can function with a few plugged up wells, and have enough self-strength to keep going…..or maybe that is self-delusion. “No problem,” we think, “When I get a chance I will deal that stuff.” Of course in the busyness of life and work we never get around to it. For a time we can keep all the plates spinning. But at some point in our lives, those plugged wells will begin to affect our health, our effectiveness and our relationships. These “wells” are illustrative of our access to life giving water, our spiritual life. Redigging wells means that we remove whatever is hindering that vibrant relationship with Jesus. For this is really where the power is going to come from for us to finish our race. After all, it is “Christ in us” that is the hope of glory.

Over a lifetime it is easy for these spiritual wells to be filled in by a lack of cultivating our relationship with Jesus. It is so easy and subtle to become dry ourselves, even while serving water to others. We can be so busy serving others that we forget to drink of it ourselves. Or we may think we have been drinking because we have been up to our elbows in water. But until it gets to our mouth, it does us no good. As we enter the final stages of life, it become apparent if we have been filling up on achievement and success, rather than on Jesus and the life that he gives. Only his life is what will sustain us for the long haul.

As we face the challenges during this season of life, are we willing to be emptied of our own strength and wisdom so that we can more fully rely on Christ? Is Jesus enough? That is a question that became very real to me during this time. Yes, we know the right answer to the question, but does my life really reflect that? This requires an attitude of humility and relinquishment. If we allow him, he will prune us in order to release us from the baggage of life that we have been dragging around and that has choked up the wells of life. (Heb. 12:4-13).

Do we still see Jesus as our source? Are we aware of the importance of “being” rather than “doing?” Do we still seek the approval of others or is Jesus all we need? (Gal. 1:10) These are all matters related to redigging wells. This requires some patience and grace on our part, because unhealthy habits that have developed over decades do not change easily or quickly. Even with intentionality it will take time to transition our lifestyle to reflect new values.

Well, that’s some pretty heavy stuff, but it’s so important. So let’s pause here again and reflect on the wells in our lives:

As you look over your life can you identify “wells” that may have been neglected and need “re-digging?” What do you think God wants to do in your life to prepare you for this final phase of your life?

Reflect on any lessons or Scriptures God has already been dealing with you and allow him to speak to you in a new way.

Re-examining our Values

As we transition to our final years of life and productivity, we have the opportunity to realign our priorities, focussing less on ambition and success and more on the importance of a relationship with Jesus. This is particularly important for those of us who have spent a lifetime serving others.

One of the occupational hazards of ministry is that we can get our identity and fulfillment from service, rather than from an intimate relationship with him. Over a lifetime of service it is easy to have spent most of our time giving bread to others, while failing to eat of the Bread of Life ourselves. This can also happen in whatever our career happened to be.

If we have wrongly associated “serving” God with having a “relationship” with God, we will likely come to the last lap of our race tired and burned out. Like the elder brother in Jesus story of the loving Father and Prodigal son, it is possible to have been in the Father’s house, and yet not having cultivated a real relationship with him. (Luke 15:11-31) Serving God is no substitute for spending time with God.

Meaning and purpose do not come from doing things FOR God, but rather from spending time WITH him. It is only out of this relationship that we will have the strength to finish our race. Navigating these waters successfully at this stage of life will result in us having renewed energy and vision like Caleb of old.

I am sure you remember him, he was one of the spies that scouted out the promised land. He has got to be one of my favorite biblical characters. Yet through no fault of his own – remember he wanted to go into the land right then – he ended up wandering around in the sandy desert for the next 40 years, and then burying all his friends and peers in that same sand. Yet, instead of getting bitter, in his eighties he is still full of passion and purpose. I find that pretty inspiring. (Josh. 14:6-12).

Let’s pause now to consider:

In what ways have your values shifting and need to be realigned? Have you substituted service for God for cultivating a relationship with God?

As you reflect on Caleb’s life what lessons can you apply to your life?

But how did Caleb pull this off? For sure, it just doesn’t happen because we wake up in the morning. He must have been intention not get bitter. As we close this episode, we are going to transition in the next few episodes to the important task of assessing what life has dealt us and how we have become who we are. We all know lots of older folks that are nothing like Caleb. What is the difference? How do we get there? We are going to come around full circle back to Caleb at the end our series, but we need to first review a bit of our past, and who we have become, before we can then consider moving forward with vision and purpose. Next time I hope you’ll join me as we discuss how to avoid fatigue and burnout.