Description
Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you were no longer the strongest one? Have you ever felt overwhelmed with all your responsibilities and wonder if you have the capacity to meet all these obligations? Live long enough and you’ll probably experience this at some point. What do we do when we come to the point that we no longer feel like the strong one that can carry others? What do we do then others are still looking to us for strength and leadership, but we need others to carry us for a while? Even the great Apostle Paul had a season when he experience this, so in this episode we are going to begin with how we deal with this. How to grapple with fatigue and burnout.
If you find the content of this episode useful, it would really help us reach more people if you click the Like and Subscribe for this episode on Youtube.
Check out our full list of Finishing the Race videos.
To view all of our series, visit our LEADERSHIPmatters Podcast page.
Podcast Resources
Listeners of this Leadershipmatters podcast may want to download the “Finishing the Race” workbook. If you would like any of our other materials go to our Resources page. These are available in several languages.
Consider Helping
The majority of our work training new leaders in the church is international. In many cases, they cannot afford the material themselves. Please considering helping us reach those who can’t afford the resources by donating today.
Video Script
Episode 4 Intro: Assessing our Situation
Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you were no longer the strongest one? Have you ever felt overwhelmed with all your responsibilities and wonder if you have the capacity to meet all these obligations? Live long enough and you’ll probably experience this at some point. What do we do when we come to the point that we no longer feel like the strong one that can carry others. What do we do then others are still looking to us for strength and leadership, but we need others to carry us for a while? Even the great Apostle Paul had a season when he experience this, so in this episode we are going to begin with how we deal with this. How to grapple with fatigue and burnout.
Despairing of Life
In the first few episodes of this series we have been discussing what it means to be in the last half, or even last third of our productive lives. We discovered that it is important to be honest with ourselves as to where we are at and what we have gone through in our lives to this point. We learned that some of us may enter this stage with disillusionments and regrets, while others may be bored or apathetic having realized many of their dreams. We also discussed the importance of redigging some old wells and being proactive to realign our values.
These first three episodes covered the first section of the workbook. This fourth episode begins the second session of the workbook which will be covered in Episodes 4-8 of this series. In this section we want to reflect in greater detail where we currently are at in our life and how this will affect us finishing our race. Before we can establish new meaning and purpose in our lives moving forward this is important. Regardless of our age, God has a plan and purpose for each of us, but to realize this we often have to let go of some of the baggage of the past.
Now it is likely that you will not be able to relate to each of the areas we will cover in the next few episodes, but you have probably lived long enough to identify with many of the issues we will discuss. My goal is not to depress you further as we deal with some heavy issues, but rather to identify areas that we may have to deal with in order to get freedom and renewed vision. If you are following along in the workbook we are beginning on page 11.
As I mentioned at the top, the Apostle Paul was not immune to dealing with overwhelming issues of life. At some point he said that he was even, “despairing of life.” He writes of the overwhelming distress and problems he experienced in Asia, and this from a guy who had a very high pain tolerance. If you question this, just read 2 Cor. 11:23-30. Yet he says that the pressure he was under was beyond his ability to bear, to the point that he was ready to give up on life. Hard to believe coming from the great Apostle, isn’t it? Hard to imagine Paul getting so down that he was at the point of giving up. (2 Cor. 1:8-11)
The obvious point is that if this could happen to such a spiritual giant, we may want to fasten our own seatbelts. There have likely been times in your life when you have no longer felt like you could be the strong one. If we have always been the one to carry others and come to the point we no longer can, the role reversal can be quite a shock. The reality is that if we live long enough we will go through these times and have these feelings. We will experience events that we cannot just “fix” or even pray away. Now, none of us want to seem weak or even admit to this to others, let alone write about it as Paul did! The fact is that during these times we feel like we are letting others and even God down.
This is particularly difficult for those with Messiah complex or feel that leadership is about being the strongest person in the room, in contrast to a being a fellow pilgrim or a servanthood model. (1 Cor. 2:3-5) So we need to begin my being okay admitting to ourselves and others that we not superheroes or spiritual giants. As we age through midlife this can become more difficult to do as other’s expectations of us actually increase. If we have the mentality, when we were younger, that leadership is about us bearing everyone’s burdens on our shoulders, this will become increasingly difficult during the last third of our lives. This unrealistic expectation can actually crush us. The good news is that if we rely on Him, God will provide the strength we need through every stage of life, including the last one. But we have to honest with him and with ourselves and have a realistic approach to what we can handle in every stage of life.
So let’s pause for a second here and consider the following:
Read 2 Cor. 1:8-11. Have you had these feelings and gone through what Paul did? How did you deal with it?
What do you think is the solution to having to always be seen as the strong one, the one with all the answers? How do you think this will impact you over the long haul?
Fatigue and Burnout
One characteristic that we notice as we transition to the midpoint and then the last third of our lives, is that we typically cannot carry the same mental or psychological load or keep going at the same pace that we have in the past. We kind of looked at this in our first episodes, when we discussed the realities of our stages of life. It is actually dangerous for our health to not make this transition. Trying to do things at the same pace we always have, in an attempt to prove our youthfulness, is a recipe for burnout and fatigue.
Some studies have shown that one third of all doctor visits are due to fatigue and that a majority of all visits are due to stress. Long term burnout leaves us feeling drained emotionally, physically, psychologically, and spiritually. Of course this can happen at any stage of life, but can be particularly debilitating at the latter stages of our life as we don’t bounce back as quickly as when we were younger. The classic example of this is Elijah as recorded in 1 Kings (1 Kings 19:9-18). He had just called down fire from heaven, killed hundreds of men with a sword and outran a chariot. That’s a pretty full day. But in this passage we now find him suffering fatigue and burnout. He had lost all perspective and even wanted God to take his life. He was done. Ever been there?
Some of the symptoms can include feelings of high anxiety that come over us at unpredictable times. We can also become more irritable and unable to carry the load of responsibility that we were once were able to carry. While before we could carry others, we can now be shocked to discover that we are struggling just to carry ourselves. Other symptoms include waking up tired, despondency or apathy towards activities we used to enjoy. Eventually this leads to physical symptoms. Maybe you are there right now or have gone through this in the past.
When we are experiencing burnout in our mid to latter stages of life, we feel trapped and this made even worse because it happens at a time when others see us as strong and want to rely on us more and more. Not being able to carry the load we once did can create more anxiety and fear of the future. We know it’s too early to give up or retire and yet not finishing our race can begin to look like a real possibility. In the worst case scenario this can lead to clinical depression or “despairing of life” as the Apostle Paul described. We may want to join Elijah in the shade under the broom tree and say “take me now!”But for most of us it just sets us back and creates enough self doubt to wonder how we will finish our race.
Hope on the Other Side
But once we identify what is happening and are honest with ourselves, we can take steps to return to health so that we can fulfill God’s purposes for our lives. When we find ourselves in this situation coming out the other side with our renewed strength can seem rather unlikely. But there is hope on the other side of fatigue and burnout. It begins by re-digging the well of making Jesus our source again. Jesus encourages us to, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
We also need to learn to adjust our expectations and our values. Often burnout is the result of bearing loads and responsibilities that God never intended for us to carry. Spiritual and mental burnout doesn’t just happen overnight, it is usually the accumulation of many small choices over an extended length of time. To combat burnout we need to re-dig some spiritual, mental, emotional and physical wells. It begins with reconnecting to Jesus to keep our spirits alive as well as thinking healthy thoughts and keeping our relationships healthy. This includes learning to manage our emotions in constructive ways and doing the practical steps of getting enough rest, exercise, and eating healthy.
While we may want instantaneous deliverance, as with Elijah, it is more likely we will have to take proactive steps day by day to realign ourselves spiritual, mentally, emotionally and physically. The results of years of negative life patterns will take time to unwind and restore. So how about we reflect on where you are at right now:
Have you, or are you now experiencing the symptoms of “burnout?” What do you believe has led you to this state?
Are there steps or habits in your life that you can establish in your life to mitigate experiencing burnout in your life in the future?
Choices that lead to Burnout
Unlike a crisis that comes upon us unexpectedly, burnout is usually something that is a result of choices we have made over time. These choices can be described in four areas: Value, Expectations, Purpose, and Unresolved Issues. Let’s briefly look at each of these.
Values
Have our values been consistent with Kingdom values or have we allowed misplaced priorities to lead us into a crisis. Were we functioning as servant leaders or in our ambition building our own kingdom or ministry? Perhaps a bit more subtle is if we have been doing ministry for Jesus in our own strength. We can do that for a while, but it eventually will burn us out. Actually ministry burnout can be an indicator that we have been doing it in our own strength all along.
Expectations
Unrealistic or unmet expectations can also lead to the crisis of burnout. What have been our expectations of life and ministry? Did we feel that God let down his side of the bargain? Are we even secretly angry with him? Thinking, hey I was serving you, but look how my life, my family, my finances, turned out. You can fill in the blank. If our expectations were misplaced or unrealistic this will lead to disappointment, anger and even depression. All disappointments can usually be traced back to some unmet expectation.
Purpose
Have you ever asked yourself, “What is the point of all this anyway?” Even life giving activities and ministry can seem to be meaningless if we lose our focus and the real purpose for serving others. We need to redefine or reaffirm why we exist, what our purpose is. Our understanding of our purpose must be based upon who we are rather than upon circumstances or even external achievements.
Unresolved Issues
During the busyness of life and ministry it is easy to postpone dealing with negative issues that have happened throughout our lives. While some unresolved issues are related to tasks, most stem from relational issues. Usually throughout our life or ministry we deal with the task issues, while relational issues are avoided or put off until “later.” But at some point, “later” becomes “now.” So who are those that we need to forgive and allow the wounds from the past to heal?
Wrong choices in these four areas, over time, will lead us to a crisis during this last season of life. This will inevitably affect our ministry, our relationships with others and our relationship with God. So as we conclude this episode, let’s take a few moments to consider:
Can you identify with any of these areas of choices and, if so, how have they impacted your life and ministry?
Burnout is not a terminal condition. I hope that these few thoughts will stimulate you to take the initiative to renew life patterns that may have led to your own season of burnout. Doing this will help us finish our race with renewed energy and vision. In the next few episodes we will discuss some of the other challenges that face us that can result in us not finishing our race with meaning and purpose. I look forward to having you join me.