Description

In this episode we will continue our discussion by looking at some of the internal challenges that we may face during this season of life. This includes considering our motivation. Why we have been doing what we have been doing? As we deal with this, we will see that it is also important to deal with the inevitable wounds we have received from others throughout our lifetime. How do we deal the disappointment of unrealized expectations and perhaps even failures that we may have experience in our lives? How we deal with these unseen issues in our personal lives will have a major impact on if we finish our race well.

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Video Script

Episode 5 Intro: Internal Challenges

In our last episode we were discussing the issue of burnout and fatigue. In this episode we will continue our discussion by looking at some of the internal challenges that we may face during this season of life. This includes considering our motivation. Why we have been doing what we have been doing? As we deal with this, we will see that it is also important to deal with the inevitable wounds we have received from others throughout our lifetime. How do we deal the disappointment of unrealized expectations and perhaps even failures that we may have experience in our lives? How we deal with these unseen issues in our personal lives will have a major impact on if we finish our race well.

 

Our Motivation

We may not have fallen into a major moral failure in our lives or ministry, but our motivations are an area that are much more subtle and yet potentially just as damaging. If we are going to finish our race, during this final season of life it is important we re-evaluate our motives and why we have been doing what we are doing. (Jer. 17:9-10).

Someone has said that for believers the “sins of our piety” can actually exceed the “sins of our immorality.” What this means is that the sins of immorality are clearly evident. They are hard to hide and have obvious consequences. It is probably evident by this stage of life if someone has fallen into these obvious moral failures. However, “sins of piety,” such as pride and ambition, are often committed in the name of God and are easier to hide under the umbrella of “spirituality.” Case in point would be the Pharisees of Jesus’ day.

These typically originate from not functioning with kingdom values in our lives and ministry. Instead of following Jesus’ example of servant leadership, perhaps we have begun to see ourselves as a “spiritual giant” or at least the “go to guy” or “expert.” The older we get the more tempting it is to fall into this trap. (1 Cor. 2:18-23; Eph. 4:22-24). As we gain more experience and the admiration of others, we can subtly believe that we should be entitled to the adulation and praise of others. (Prov. 16:18)

Yet to finish our race we must resist this temptation and remain humble, even as we age. We can evaluate how much this has affected us by asking ourselves how we respond when a younger, less experienced people are elevated and promoted beyond us? Are we jealous, or do we seek to bless them by mentoring and coaching them so that they can be even more effective than we were? Talking to his disciples about this very issue, Jesus says, “But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.”  (Luke 22:26)

Jesus is our example. When he was at the pinnacle of his ministry he washed his follower’s feet, he was a servant to the end. Paul writes in Phil. 2 what his true attitude was and how this should also be our attitude. Taking on the very nature of a servant, laying aside our selfish ambition, valuing others above ourselves (Phil. 2:1-8). How about you, have you considered your motivation?

In what ways have you struggled with pride and vain ambition? What do you practically do in your life and ministry to ensure that you do not fall into this trap?

 

Unforgiveness

Over a lifetime it is inevitable that people have hurt us along the way. If we do not give these hurts to God, they will accumulate and poison us with bitterness. Disappointments have a way of damaging our souls. Perhaps at some point along the way we did not receive the position or recognition that we thought was ours and we’ve never really  forgiven the people involved (2 Cor. 2:5-11). Paul encourages us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. [Instead]Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” ( Eph. 4:31-32).

By this stage in our lives we all accumulate these grievances which can hinder us from moving forward in our lives (Prov. 14:10). The first step is to acknowledge these incidents and then allow God’s grace to soften our heart and see things from his perspective. This requires us to forgive others as Jesus taught us, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt 6: 14-15.

It is possible, and I would suggest necessary, to forgive those who may not have even asked us, or who may not even be sorry. Forgiveness is about releasing them from owing me anything. My heart is then free. Actually, forgives is more about releasing us from bondage, not even the perpetrator.  Lack of forgiveness only harms us, not the one who has hurt us (Matt. 5:23-24). Though the relationship may not be fully restored we can move forward without bitterness in our hearts.

So as we pause,

Is there anyone who has hurt you that you have not forgiven? Why not spend some time right now with the Lord and allow him to bring to mind anyone that you may need to forgive and then release them from the prison of your hurt and anger.

 

Expectations and Disappointments

As we embark on the latter half or third of our lives, the way that things have turned out may be quite different than the way we thought they would have when we started our journey. As we saw in Episode 1 and 2, we may have some deep disappointments with how our circumstances turned out, or we may be disappointed with ourselves and ultimately even God. If we don’t deal with these unrealized expectations, they have the potential to make us bitter and disillusioned for the future. If they are deep enough, they may hinder what God still may want to do through our lives.

We are not exempt from sufferings, which can be in the form of frustration as Paul writes about in Romans 8, “For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it. . .” (Rom. 8:18-21). The Septuagint translation of Solomon’s “meaningless” in Ecclesiastes is the same work used for frustration here (Ecc. 2:17).

I understand that this next comment may be a bit controversial, but I have come to believe that God not only uses these frustrations in our lives, but he may even sometimes cause these frustrations in order to test our motives, prune our intentions, and make us more into the image of his Son. Part of adapting and transitioning through this latter season of life is to accept the way things are and believe that God has been and still is at work in our lives.

Instead of blaming others and asking why, our attitudes needs to be one of giving our disappointments to him and allowing him to heal our hurts from these unrealized expectations. Do we really believe that he is working all things together for good in our lives? (Rom. 8:28). It may be the case that these disillusionments are all part of God’s plan to teach us patience and meekness, so that we can better deal with others. Remember, he prunes those who he loves (Heb. 12:5-11).

Well how about it?

Have you experienced (or are experiencing) a level of frustration that seems to be making your life “meaningless?”

 Consider your areas of disillusionment and disappointments and bring them to the Lord in prayer. Allow him to help you with your unresolved expectations and lead you to a new hope for the future.

 

Our Failures

Our failures can also hinder our future dreams. For some the fear of failure is something that has held them back for most of their lives. But even for those who have taken risks their whole life, as we age it may seem reasonable to take fewer risks and insulate ourselves from the potential  failure of new ventures, for as we know there will be less runway ahead of us recover from potential crash landings.

Though it may seem rather counterintuitive, once we stop taking all risks we begin to shrink and die on the inside, we cease to grow. Remember our previous discussion of the Sigmoid curve. Without taking proactive steps at those inflection points on the upward side of the graph, we will inevitably begin to decline. Now I understand that this becomes increasingly difficult for most of us as we age and this does not mean taking risks just for risk sake or trying to do what we did in our twenties.

So while the risks we take may be more measured and applicable to our age limitations, God will always ask us to remain on the journey with him. He has promised to give us strength for every day that he gives us here on this earth. I believe this also will translate into renewed vision and purpose for every day of our earthly journey.

Many biblical characters wrestled with their failures. Moses, Gideon, Elijah, and Jeremiah, just to name a few, all came to the point of no longer having the confidence or strength to step out with God. Joshua is perhaps the classic example. God came to him and told him not to fear, and this was not a small thing since it was his task to follow his mentor, the giant of faith, Moses. (Josh. 1:6-9). Emerging from the shadow of Moses during the mid-point of his life Joshua would have been justified to feel a bit inadequate. It’s amazing to me that some 40 years later, his good buddy and peer, Caleb, was still up to taking risks.

As we age and seek to finish our final leg of the race, it is easy to rest on our past accomplishments and combined with increasingly physical fatigue and other age related challenges, it can cause us to just sit back and be content to watch others do it. Now I think at this stage we want to become more of a coach for others and open doors for them, rather than sucking up all the oxygen in the room, but this does not mean that God will not have something for us still to accomplish. Instead of shrinking back like Joshua initially did, we can be more like a Caleb, even into our latter years.

To do this, though, we will need to evaluate our priorities to make sure we are in step with Jesus, spending even more time with him and allowing his Word to speak to us and strengthen us (Psa. 119:97-100). As we spend time with Him, he will renew our vision and strength. As we know, “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” (Heb. 11:6.) And the origin of this faith comes from the Word himself, “… faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.” (Rom. 10:17)

The eleventh chapter in Hebrews continues by providing a list of what many of the saints of old did through this faith  — and many of these like Noah, Abraham, Sarah and Moses, were no spring chicks. There might be hope for all of us after all! It is never too late to begin. Though rebuilding shattered dreams and disillusionments will take time, God will rebuild our faith as we re-dig these wells. Then we will be prepared to finish the race that he has called us to run.

Now I am aware that the second half of Hebrews 11 lists those who were persecuted and killed in creative ways, but even then it was through their faith that they successfully accomplished the race God had for them. And  in the longer trajectory of eternity their sufferings will have been worth it. And so will ours.

Have you experienced failures that have paralyzed you, particularly at this stage of life when it would be easier to no longer step out in faith to fulfill God’s plan in our lives?

 I hope you have found this episode helpful as you reflect on your own journey. Perhaps  you may have to retool some of your attitudes and perspectives to finish your race. I hope you have the courage to do so. Next time we are going to begin to look at some of the external challenges that come our way and how we can successfully weather these storms in our lives. I am looking forward to having you join me then.